Turning 50 (for Michael) (L)

Empires rise and empires fall and all that remains are some crumbling walls
Chorus:
You better get ready x 2
You better get ready ‘cos it’s all downhill from here.

Your head once had hair hanging like the gardens of Babylon, but now it just a pad for the helicopters to land upon
Chorus:
You better get ready x 2
You better get ready ‘cos it’s all downhill from here.

Your gut was once as firm as the Greeks at Thermopylae, but now it’s softer in the middle than a Barbara Cartland anthology (the Greek economy)
Chorus:
You better get ready x 2
You better get ready ‘cos it’s all downhill from here.

Your eyes were once as bright as the beacon in Alexandria, but now the world’s a pea soup fog filled with ham like bits of retina
Chorus:
You better get ready x 2
You better get ready ‘cos it’s all downhill from here.

Your back could once hold up the world like Atlas, but now a badly timed sneeze can put you back in traction
Chorus:
You better get ready x 2
You better get ready ‘cos it’s all downhill from here.

Well you once controlled your waters like the great Roman aqueducts but soon you will be swimming in an incontinental by product
Your mind was once a sponge for all the great works of philosophy, but now those sponge holes leave more gaps than a full frontal lobotomy
Chorus:
Now I gotta get ready x 2
Now I gotta get ready ‘cos it’s all downhill from here.

In my head I’m still a lightly stepping foal,
tripping through the daisies ready to take on the whole world,
but let me tell you brother the body doesn’t lie
and I can already smell the glue and the formaldehyde
Chorus:
Now I gotta get ready x 2
Now I gotta get ready ‘cos it’s all downhill from here.